Friday, July 14, 2017

for granny su

Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to someone very special to me, perhaps for a very long time. It hurt. It still does. I cried myself to sleep last night, and tried to keep the memory clear in my mind of her house, and that last time I drove away from it. The last hug we gave each other, before I walked out the door, I had walked through so many times over the past year. You see, we hadn't known each other very long, but we bonded, you know?

Something in each of us found the other, and we knew we were meant to be friends. Through our friendship, I learned that the word 'friend' can come through people of all different ages. You don't have to be the same age to be kindred spirits. In fact, she was a lot older than me. Old enough to be my grandmother, but we were so close, and our friendship was the kind that is rare and precious. I remember the day when I asked her to be my adopted grandmother. She looked surprised. She teared up and said she would be honored. She told me she never could have children of her own, and she would love to have me call her granny. I felt so special that day.

Granny Su was the one who gave me confidence in so much, and told me I could do or be anything if I really wanted it. She told me that happiness is a journey, not a destination. And the thing was, I believed her.  Isn't it special to have those people in your life, that if they say something, you know they genuinely mean it? Its hard to leave a person like that. It hurts a lot.

As I am preparing to leave for college, fly from home and say goodbye to these special people like her that I won't be able to see for several years, I am starting to realize that growing up is hard. It brings change, fear, unknown people and places, it brings goodbyes. It brings a little bit of the grim world out to light, and we start to understand about how much the world is really hurting. But in the mist of this is our individual lives. Our own race, our own journey and our own story. I guess I'm just at a chapter right now that brings tears and pain, but I know that the sun will rise again tomorrow, and everything will be alright soon.


Monday, July 3, 2017

we're all still learning. || a poem


don't accept something as truth
just because its coming from someone you respect.
we are all still growing.
we are all still just learning to breathe,
to care,
to see,
to forgive,
to live,
to love.
we are all still learning about what it means to be human.
and each of us have to discover what that means to us,
in our own time.

c.r ryder

emotions on something spiritual